Scroll Call
by Enaid Aderyn
Summary: Random Skyrim drabbles inspired by the experiences of Ta'aj Shadowwalker. Rated M for language.
1. This Way Out

**1. This Way Out**

**.o0o.**

"She's single-handedly responsible for restoring the Thieves Guild's fortunes across Skyrim, she is."

"Dragonborn. Dragon_ slayer_. How many is it?"

Ta'aj flicked an ear and sampled her drink thoughtfully. "Eight? But I generally have help, you know."

Etienne waved that off. "And she can kill someone just by Shouting at them. I saw that with my own eyes: three hulking frost trolls, boom! Flying like rag dolls. This after just waltzing through the Thalmor Embassy."

"I'm more impressed that she can face down Maven Black-Briar and live to tell the tale." Vekel spoke dryly.

The murmur of gossip from the recruits and vendors carried on.

". . . Daedra . . . thanes . . . tombs . . . invisible . . . archer . . .giants . . .Azura . . . Greybeards . . . Foresworn . . ."

The Khajiit finished her drink and nodded to Vekel.

"I'll be off. As Brynjolf is so fond of saying, I've got something important to do." Pulling her hood up, Ta'aj Shadowwalker, Master of the Thieves Guild, Dragonborn, Nightingale, beloved of Nocturnal, favored of Hircine and Azura, Bard, Master Smith, Thane of Riften, Whiterun, Solitude and Markarth, slayer of dragons, who walked unscathed out of Cidhna prison mine and on the way to personally wiping out the entire Foresworn nation, strode quickly to the back of the Ragged Flagon and into the passage concealed in the storage closet.

Vekel polished a glass and began counting down under his breath.

Ka-dump-crash!

_"Ow! Dammit!"_

Bump-bonk-bang.

_"Bleeding? I'm bleeding? What the fuck are we using for cleaning supplies here, caltrops and sharkskin? _

The apprentices avoided each others' eyes as the tirade faded away and Vekel selected another glass, whistling.

_"Who needs a special Thu'um to kill Alduin? I'll just knock him out of the sky with this bucket and beat him to death with a broom! Twin Moons above . . ."_

**.o0o.**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Every time, people. Every. Damn. Time._


	2. Battle Crying

**2. Battle Crying**

**.o0o.**

"Kharjo."

"What is it?"

"Have I mentioned recently how much I love y-having you with me?"

"Not recently, no." The big Khajit warrior grinned down at Ta'aj.

"Mm. Well, aside from the fact that you are," she leaned back and looked him over admiringly, "utterly gorgeous, you're a breath of warm air next to these frozen humans."

"The warm sands of Elsweyr are a far cry from the snows of Skyrim."

"And you have a sense of humor beyond pinching the barmaid to get her to spill the mead."

"I did say I _might_ smell our enemies coming. Or might not. Khajit is nothing if not honest."

"Dry like the sands of home." Ta'aj ran a finger down his arm, watching the fur part and spring back in place. "And when I ask you to help me carry things-"

"I will shoulder some of your burden." Kharjo spoke gently. Ta'aj purred and stretched up to rub her cheek along his jaw.

"One thing."

"Yes?"

"When you take a serious hit in battle, you tend to scream for mercy like a little girl."

"Ah. Khajiit will work on that."

"Khajiit would appreciate it."

**.o0o.**


	3. Things To Do

**3. Things To Do**

**.o0o.**

"Brynjolf, what do you think of these new recruits?"

"Sorry, lass. I've got important things to do. We'll talk later."

Ta'aj shrugged. "Sooner you than me. Not a problem."

**.o0o.**

"And the frog says, 'It all started with a pimple on my bum.'"

The cistern rang with laughter and Etienne was offered a congratulatory round. Ta'aj waved at Brynjolf to come over.

"Come on, have a seat, night-brother."

"Sorry, lass. I've got important things to do. We'll talk later."

"Really? Well, okay then."

**.o0o.**

"Brynjolf, could you pass me the salt?"

"Sorry, lass-"

Ta'aj's left eye twitched.

**.o0o.**

"You know, last time I looked I was the Guild-Master. At _your_ instigation, you may recall."

"Lass, I'm sorry-"

The Khajit lashed her tail in exasperation. "What happened to, 'whatever you need me for, I'll be here'?"

"I really do have important things to do. I promise, we'll talk later."

Ta'aj eyed him narrowly for a moment.

"You're just shining me off, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't do that, lass."

"Because it's pretty obvious you're just sitting there dangling your feet in the cistern."

"Things! Important! Later!"

**.o0o.**


	4. Priorities

**4. Priorities**

**.o0o.**

"All right, Valtheim Towers . . ." With an absent wave at farmer Wulfric, Ta'aj spread the map on the low stone wall. Kharjo leaned in to study it.

"Across the river, north and east." He traced the route with a delicate claw and tapped the minute tower symbol. "The caravans found it simpler to pay their 'toll' rather than fight, although-"

"Shh!"

Ta'aj whipped her head around and, shoving the map at Kharjo, crouched and stalked forward, flexing her fingers warily. Tension quivering in every limb, she paused, secured her footing, then dove with a snarl into a clump of bushes.

"Ha! No, damn-"

She bolted upright, dropping a handful of shredded blooms, and lunged after the fluttering blue butterflies.

_"Gotcha! And there-!"_

Wulfric approached as Kharjo carefully refolded the map.

_"Hah!"_

"Is it a cat thing?" The human eyed the leaping, gyrating form. "We've got an old tabby acts just like that."

_"Oo, Monarchs!"_

"Same with my sister's moggie. Scourge of the garden. Yeah, must be a ca-" Wulfric hesitated, suddenly realizing he was the subject of an intense turquoise stare. ". . . Khajiit . . . thing? Er . . .?" he finished lamely, with a hitherto unfelt sympathy for the beleaguered insects.

After a pointed moment, Kharjo finished stowing the map and flicked a speck from his fine ebony cuirass.

"Surely this one is aware that the creatures' wings are an alchemical ingredient?"

"Right, right, of course."

"It requires a level of cunning and dexterity to capture them bare-handed."

"Oh, absolutely."

Ta'aj came to a halt in the ruined bushes, glaring about with blown pupils and fanned whiskers. At no further signs of life, she straightened and calmly tucked the colorful scraps into her pouch.

"All set?" She dusted her hands together fastidiously as Kharjo left the relieved Wulfric, and the two Khajiit continued down the road.

"So, you were saying?"

"Yes, they watch the pass most vigilantly."

"Definitely a night approach, then."

"Khajiit recalls Zaynabi and Ahkari speculating that an approach from the western cliff face might be-"

"Hey! Dragonflies!"

**.o0o.**


	5. Extreme Prejudice

**5. Extreme Prejudice**

**.o0o.**

"Are you all right?" Ta'aj offered a healing potion to Kharjo and bit the seal off a bottle for herself. The warrior nodded with a declining gesture.

"Khajiit is fine."

"Yes, Khajiit certainly is," Ta'aj leered automatically. She drained her bottle and flung it at the carcass with a scowl. "Did you see the _teeth_ on that thing?"

"They were difficult to ignore."

"Twin Moons, why do they always come after me? Is there a sign on my back?"

Kharjo grinned. "I see only the glowing arrow above your head saying, 'This way to Dragonborn.'"

"Ha very ha. All for a few stinking scales. . ." She lashed her tail irritably.

"Still," Kharjo surveyed the swath of devastated terrain, "Perhaps our response was a little excessive."

"You're joking, right?"

He indicated the still-smoking remains. "For a fish?"

"A _slaughter_fish! A slaughterfish that followed us across the length of the river and _out of the water_ and _crawled up the damned bank_ and _kept_ attacking _on dry land_!"

"Hm, you have a point."

"What's _wrong_ with this country? As if the fucking mudcrabs weren't bad enough-"

"Speaking of . . ."

"Aargh! Ow! Get off! Gettitoff! _**Fus Ro DAH!**_ _Lighting Strike! Fireball!_"

**.o0o.**


End file.
